I suppose I've experienced a rite of passage today in the parenting of a toddler. For all of K1's behavior struggles, I haven't ever had to deal with a public tempter tantrum. Today K2 tarnished that perfect record. In fact tarnished is too kind of a word... destroyed, maimed, desecrated might be more appropriate.
We are continuing to work on potty training. She is SO close, but its like we're nearly at the top of the hill and that last mile is proving treacherous. She understands what it means to go potty, she sometimes does it completely on her own, she sometimes tells me she has to go, and other times she just pees and/or poops in her pants and doesn't give it a second thought. It's been frustrating to say the least.
Anyhow, school starts in two weeks and while its not a requirement, I would REALLY like her to be PT once and for all. Today she's been doing a great job, and I had to run to Target. I told her if she could keep her pants dry all day then she could pick out a backpack for school. Now if you know K2 at all, you know how incredibly over-the-moon she is to go to preschool. Getting a backpack is nearly as good as actually going to class, so she was very much on board and ready and willing to keep her pants dry.
While in Target however, she was sidetracked by a princess clock she just HAD to have (K2 is all about anything princess of course). Anyhow, I told her she would not be getting a clock today, that she didn't need it, and that the deal was a backpack if she could behave and keep her pants dry. This started her crying and whining, at which point I told her if she didn't settle down she wouldn't get a backpack at all today. This elicited screams and full-blown tantrum mode. To make a long story short, I couldn't calm her down and certainly was not going to give in to her screaming demands, so we hurried as fast as we could to the front of the store, paid for our stuff (with me apologizing to the poor people all around me having to listen to her incessant crying and ear-splitting screams), and then went to the car and drove home. She screamed the entire way, so as soon as we arrived I put her straight in her room. She must have screamed for an hour straight. UGH.
Now I know why they say boys are easier. K1's behaviors - though frustrating in the extreme - are at least short lived. K2 is going to blow a vein I fear. Have we finally reached the terrible 2s/3s with her? I dread this more than I can express.
K2's unique personality traits - that I love more than anything - are what are going to make her difficult to discipline I'm afraid. She's incredibly obstinate, stubborn and determined. She's also very bright and gifted when it comes to communicating, and reading other people. I think she knows where my weaknesses are, and plays to them. I think she purposely attempts things in public that K1 never would, because she knows its embarrassing for me and hopes I'll just give in. She's far more manipulative than K1 is, and much more cunning. She is one of those children who, when she decides she wants something, is not averse to using any method to get it. She does not take well to no - and though this all sounds terrible it actually can be a very good thing. She doesn't like failure and often pushes herself to do something that might feel too difficult, but on the flip side of that coin she is prone to having fits when things don't go according to her plan.
As much as I truly "get" K2, because we share a lot of similar traits, I find it easier to interact with K1 at times because he is much more rational and has always been a child that can be reasoned with. There is an element to K2's way of thinking that truly baffles me. I wonder if she and I will struggle with these power plays for years to come? I firmly believe in the theory of pick your battles, but be sure when you choose one you win. Because when it comes to K2, failure is most definitely NOT an option.
