My Favorite Role

Been thinking about motherhood today, for obvious reasons. It's a complicated thing, being a mom. On the one hand its the abstract - perfect trips to Disneyland and teaching gospel principles while picnicking at the park and raising well-adjusted kids who go on to accomplish everything you dream for them.

On the other hands, its the concrete - blowing noses and tying shoes and packing lunches and doing homework and overseeing endless scheduling conflicts and cleaning up the same mess for the fifth time that day.

In reality, motherhood is somewhere in the nebulous, in the in-between. Too much focus on the abstract and you never see what is actually real, and too much reality can make you lose sight of those lofty ambitions. It seems to me that success is understanding that the dream, the power, the hope of motherhood lies in all the day-to-day minutiae.

I've only been a parent for six years - that hardly makes me an expert. And the kids are young enough that I haven't had a whole lot of time to take a breath and focus on the bigger picture. But on those rare days - days like today - when my earthly self gets a little closer to the spiritual self and my mind is opened to what I'm really doing, I recognize that it's all those little moments that add up to the big picture. The drudgery, the frustration, the repetitiveness, the often never-ending and rarely thankful job is absolutely everything that matters to me.

You see every time I remind my kids to sneeze into the crook of their arm, every time I insist they drink water or milk over soda and juice, every time I remind them to say a prayer before they eat, I am showing them I love them. Every time I grab them in a snuggle, every time I make them clean up their room, every time I read them a story and every time I insist they try their best I am showing them that - above anything else - I value my role as their mother and I consider it the most sacred thing I could ever do.

While the kids will certainly remember some of the 'big' moments in life, and those moments will have their own unique impact, I'd like to argue that its all those little moments when added up together that will really shape them into who they are. Every time I remind my kids of something I've already said 100 times, I impress upon them what is most important and who I want them to become. And every time I volunteer in their classroom or make their favorite dinner or remind them to buckle up they are once again comforted by the knowledge that there are absolutes in life and that, no matter what, I have their best interest at heart.

I am immensely proud of my children - in a way only another parent can understand. But I am also immensely proud of how their presence in this world means I get to take on the role of mother. I want them to know, I do not take it lightly. Even on my bad days, they are the two most perfect beings that have ever existed. And mothering them - even on their bad days - is my own little slice of heaven.