Priceless Advice on the Golden Rule

The purpose of this blog is ultimately for my children, either through sharing stories for them to better remember, recording milestones or dispensing advice. This particular post will be of the latter kind.

I just got back from a 4-day girls weekend with my college friends. There are 14 of us total, and 10 were able to make this trip. We try to have them once a year (this is our second) so that those who can't make it one year don't have to wait too long for the next. Last time was Palm Springs, this year was Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire. Of course it was fabulous, of course it was fun, of course we ate a lot and talked even more (and let me pause here to give mad props to the stellar house we stayed in, which thanks to the count of one friend, apparently had 12 bedrooms and 10 baths).

But beyond that, these women aren't just friends that I enjoy hanging out with once a year. These women are a lifeline. I have a wonderful husband and two mostly perfect children, I have amazing parents, sisters and extended family, I have truly beautiful friendships that I have developed as a married adult that mean a great deal to me. All of these are lifelines. This particular lifeline however, of these 14 women, has shifted its purpose in my life, always somehow being exactly what I need in that particular phase or for that particular problem.

It is immensely comforting to be not just accepted for who you are, but truly loved - and even admired - by those you love and admire as well. It is rejuvenating to laugh until your sides ache and to share the same stories that everyone knows and new ones that will become part of the lexicon that ties you together. It is the utmost relaxation to let your guard down in every conceivable way and to set aside the distractions of daily life and to just be. And it is deeply satisfying to know that every single one of us feels the exact same way.

And so I say to my children, that it is my hope that life affords you these kinds of friendships. I recommend you open yourself up to them - that you lay bare your vulnerabilities to the right people and that you accept them for theirs. I suggest you make the effort - however hard it might be at times - to nurture and grow potential friendships, to stay in touch and to allow each other to change and adapt. I believe you should remember the good things, laugh over the silly, let go of the bad and overlook the unintentional. Reminisce about the good old days, but don't pigeon hole people into roles they may no longer fit into. Encourage longevity. Don't let go of those who know you in ways that no one else possibly can. In other words, be the kind of friend that you will so often need throughout your lives.

And remember that when mommy goes on these trips each year, its not because I need a "break" from you (though sometimes mommy does), and its not because I'm just wanting a fun vacation. It's because this is much-needed therapy and priceless life advice for the low cost of a plane ticket. It makes me a better mom, a better wife, a better friend and a better person. So thank you A, B, H, J, Ma, Me, N, Sa, Su. And to H, K, T, and S - we BETTER see you next year! Love to you all.